am i wrong to be jealous?2001-08-30, 11:46 a.m.i know i said i was done for the day... but i guess i lied. danie (my girlfreind) and i just had a fight. she has a guy friend that im kinda jealous of. his name is patrick, she wants to go out with him all the time, they go dancing, to the mall, they shop and get thair hair done together. she likes doing things with him more then she likes doing things with me. i dont like that, its ok if she has a guy friend but i think this has gone too far. the worst thing is she never invites me out with them. i trust danie but i think there is something goin on, im just not sure what. he has taken her out to a few clubs, wich is ok... i guess. but last week he invited her to go to a rave with him. ive never been to a rave but i have heard stories. i have a few friends that have. did i mention i hate drugs? well i do. in our area raves consist of drugs, funky dancing, and sex... wtf, why would she want to go? what is going on? way dose she have so many secrets? what is she keeping from me? i was nervus to let her go, but i cant stop her. so i asked if i could go. just tag along, see what its all about, keep an eye on her. is that wrong of me? well anyway i guess it was because now she is not going. because of me. wtf is she up to. i dont want to think she is cheeting on me, so i ask why she dosent want me there. then she tells me it was canceled... hmm. all through our realationship she has not lied but with-held the truth so not to hurt me about certin aspcets of her life. so why shoud i think the sudden canceling of the rave is any different? danie is a good person she dont want to hurt me, i know that, but sometimes the way she goes about not hurting me hurts even more. if you know what i mean. i am totally 100% up front and honest with her. i have nothing to hide. hell there is not much to me at all, let alone something to hide. i hate how she feels she cant be honest with me. she dosent lie, but she dosent tell the truth neither. did i mention that patrick is gay? dose that even make a difference? im not saying she is cheeting, its just that something dosent feel right. maybe its just jealousy... am i wrong to be jealous?oh yeah, there is someting else i should say. danie has a diary on diary land. she is the one who gave me the ideal of cyber theropy. i used to have a diary linked to hers so whenever somebody reads hers they can link over to mine or vise-versa. i wanted to start all over where no one knows me and no one knows her. i am accualy verry jealous os her diary, she has been writing for a while now, and a few months ago aginst her wishes i read her diary. i found out she has alot of things to say about me. not so good things. all she ever writes in he diary is the bad things about me. i dont want to think im a bad guy... but when a good person like danie thinks so little of me its hard to think any diffenent. i just dont think she understands me. |