not on the road to recovery

2001-11-05, 8:59 p.m.

its harder then you think you know. i have been tring to get caught up on bills ever since febuary, its only gotten worse. in less then 3 weeks we have to find a new place to live, so we need to come up with a depostit, first months rent, all that fun stuff. my beutiful little car got wrecked(danie and another pole incendant), there is another $500 for my deductible, not to mention my rates will go up.i need new brakes and a tuen up. and for some reason ive been feeling real lonley latley, danie it not happy with me for alot of reasons, weve had some NASTY fights latley and i need to learn to bite my tounghe when we are fighting(i can be pretty mean, ask the guys i work with). and to top it all off... i have my very first inventory as "inventory control manager" coming up soon. its all on my sholders, great just the way i like it. its kinda strange though... i never would have thought numbers would be my niche... but ive found with this job im not too bad(meaning a hell of alot better then i expected). i guess well find out just how good on the 13th. until then... i need to figure out my own money situation(its alot easier with someone elses money, you know like a major grocery chains money). if only i could pay my car payment on a smiths account... hmm... ok just kidding not even i could pull that one off. if you have any other ideals let me know, id be glad to hear them!

look i know its not all that bad(im a whiner) it could be worse... this is nothing the great MIKE cant survive. LOL who am i kidding, im gonna need some help. if you handed me a sword and asked me to save the world... that i could handle. but this, its just not my thing. money, realationships, depretion, im simply not good at this. I CRUMBLE.

melisa is wright... if i know i need to change then i just need to GET OFF MY ASS and DO IT! that is tricky because i have been tring... granted i may not be tring as has as i would if i was slaying a dragon or something, but i have been tring. but... i must try harder(though it seems the harder i try the worse it gets) i musent give up, i must lay the demons to rest(demons meaning "life stuff"). if only i was as passionatate about paying bills as i am about destroying the foul creatures, but then things would just be too easy right?

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