No Touchie!2004-05-25, 11:04 p.m.Martina has been so fucking dreadful to be around lately. She is in a severe depression and she expects me to make her feel better all the time. So when I can�t she just feels worse and blames it on me. It sucks! Tonight... about ten minutes ago I told her she needs to figure shit out on her own and stop making me feel guilty because she is not happy. I know how hurtful that can be to someone who is already upset but I needed to do it, for both of us. She needs to get through things just like I did.Right now in my life I am happier then I have been in a long time. I�m keeping busy, making goals and working toward them, and just down right feeling pretty damn good. I finally figured out what I need to make myself happy and I tried to explain that to her but she wont even listen. All she want to do is mope around complaining and blaming the world. I told her to find a hobby, to find a way to occupied her time without me all the time. So instead of talking it like it was meant she says �fine if you don�t want me around anymore I�ll just go� and she left. A few minutes later she called and told me she was sorry for wasting my time ans that she would not bother me anymore. Nice how mature. I try and help her by trying to teach her the best thing one could ever learn... TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. And what do I get? More fucking guilt and blame. Fuck it I don�t care anymore. Time to change the subject now. Last Sunday not three days ago but a week and three days ago I went to Martina�s home town with her to hang out with her family. Her brother busted out the slack line. Before then I had never heard of a slack line before. It is kind of like a tight rope at the circus. Only it�s closer to the ground and tied to a tree, and the back of a truck. Anyhow it was a lot of fun until I decided to try and do a handstand on it. I know it might not have been the smartest thing I have ever done but I guess I�m just crazy like that. I fell off and separated my shoulder. Until the last few days I have been in so much pain. But lucky for me I have accelerated healing powers so I�m pretty much better already. The hospital put me in a splint so I could only use one arm. That sucked ass and after three days I could not take it anymore so I took the damn thing off. Again maybe not a good idea but I seem to be alright now. I was supposed to start physical therapy but decided I not too. I don�t think I need it, I have most of my range of motion back and it only hurts when I move it wrong, try and lift something heavy, or when some stupid asshole touches it. |