Why I am!

2010-10-31, 11:46 a.m.

You ask me why I seem so depressed all the time? If you really cared aout how I feel you would already know the answer. Call me selfish tell me it's all about me if you wil... and you will! you never ever try to understand my feelings are simply not impotant. Not to you nor anyone for that matter. I have no real friends I can't make you happy, my boss hates me and I have become the ultamate pecimest. I suppose thats my fault too, call it a weakness but when I am told something enough by enough people I tend to start believing it. I am a disapoint to myself and everyone around me. Everything I do goes unnoticed and everything I dont do is noticed and dwelled apon. By you by my co-workers by your family, by just about everyone around me.
I feel alone, I feel like no one really cares, and thats alright I think I can be just fine on my own. But for whatever reason I am drivin to comtinue to try to take care of those I am responsible for. I continue to fight for my family, my job, and even my sudo friends. What you see when you feel inclined to ask me what is wrong... is simply me wearing my emotions on my sleeve like a big baby. I try and hide it most of the time but I pretty much feel like this all the time. I don't want your pitty, so don't accuse me of of being selfish as usual. This is for me this is my diary I can write whatever I want. Even though you will never read this and I will never try to tell you because you don't care anyway. This is my fucking diary and this is how I feel... every day my attitude gets worse and no matter how positive i try to be. Fuck the world is the best phrase to describe my attitude. A better person then I might be able to stay strong and make the best of a bad situation, many bad situations. But I'm not that guy. This is me I am just too weak to be positive so here I sit... bitter and pissed off at the world!!!! This is how I feel, this is why I am the way I am! the very reason I seem so fucking sad... because I AM!!! FUCK EVERYONE FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS THEN BLAMING ME FOR IT!!!! FUCK YOU ALLL!!!

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