I want it to be over.2002-03-25, 2:55 p.m.I think I am so fucking tired that I cannot even sleep. That can�t be good can it? I hate admitting it but I think this job is getting the best of me right now. It might seem pathetic, me getting burned out in a grocery store. But it�s harder then one might think, and I have so many responsibilities, so much to worry about. The fucking vice president of the company is coming into my store on Thursday. That is scary I need to be perfect. That will not be easy with one guy out for 4 weeks, one on vacation, and running as tight of a schedule as I do anyway.What I hate most of all is the fact that everyone thinks that Jessica is working grocery because I have a crush on her. I will admit to having a crush on her, but I am a professional. And I am not STUPID. The truth is� she is a good worker, and I NEED THE HELP! Fuck those gossiping assholes. Not to mention we have become good friends and I don�t want to fuck that up. I don�t get many friends. We might joke around a little but she is totally cool with just being friends, she knows I have a girlfriend, and knows we made a mistake before. But I think when things settle down a bit at work� I am going to stop scheduling her in my department. Just to shut everyone up. A real good friend of mine told me to do something special for Danie. I know I have not been the best guy in the world for a while now actually but I am going to work on it. She gave me a real good suggestion� go running with her to help with her marathon training and have a nice little picnic. How fun. I feel like shit right now my body aches, my head hurts, I�m restless, and my back Is killing me. But I will anyway. I had a chiropractor friend working on my back last night at work but I don�t think it helped much. It�s funny� just 2 years ago I was in top notch shape. I had a 4.4 sec 40 yard dash(that is real damn fast), 175lb bench(not bad considering I weighted 118lbs), I could climb anything, fall down concrete stairs and not get hurt, almost dunk a 10ft hoop(keep in mind I�m only 5�10�) physically I could do ANYTHING! Now my back hurts all the time, I limp almost everywhere I go, and anytime I do and sort of athletic activity when its over I feel like I�ve been beat to near death by huge fucking rocks(thank you Mr. Thirteenth apostle). That�s not good. I�m 22 but I feel 45. well I don�t actually know what it feels like to be 45 but yeah... I made a list of goals but like everything else in my life� I have been putting them off. To help me out I am going to post them on my site. I hope that helps push me to get my little ass in gear. |