hello diary land...

2001-08-27, 10:53 p.m.

diary land, before i start complaining, lemme catch you up on my life. im a 21 year old male with golden blond hair (golden because the bleach did not work right and im too lazy to fix it) hence goldenboy... i couldnt really think of anything else. im not depressed all the time but i do have my down days. like we all do. i have a girlfreind, we have been together for about 4 1/2 years now. man dose time fly. i love her alot and we will probably get married someday. we have talked about it, but we have had our shair of problems. i tend to be a little selfish, and sometimes i say things to hurt her. i dont want to hurt her but when the heat is on... i dont know, i just mess up. she was going to leave me about a month or so ago. im not sure what stoped her, but im glad she dident. then again she would probably be better off anyway. who knows. maybe i would too. but i do love her and we are togrther now... thats all that matters. i have a job in a grocery store where im the stalker cheif and asst. to the grocery manager. my job sucks but the days go by real fast. or nights (i work graves mostley) i get paid pretty decent for a grocery clerk. but i spend too much money. nice car, nice tv, dvd player, entertanement, ect. between that and rent my money is gone. my girlfreind makes money too (we live together) but like i said we spend it. i have goals... but im too lazy to do anything. i mean i know what i want i just need to get up and do it. "do it" the key word. i quit school, high school (you probably figured because of the Bad spelling) i was just a dumb kid... well i still am but at least now i know i fucked up. i played football... thats all i cared about. my grades were bad, they told me i couldnt play until i improved my gredes. so i quit, the begining of my junior year. hmm... kicken my own ass now. im stuck in a grocery store living paycheck to paycheck. wtf (what the fuck) in case you were wondering. now i just want to coach football. how am i to do that if i dont have a degree? how am i supposed to get a degree if i dont have a diploma? how am i supposed to do anything working in a grocery store living week to week. my life dont suck. but its not where i want to be neither. my little brother... he is 17, a senior. he is the starting tailback on his high school football team. he gets good gredes, he is an awesome athlete, and the girls love him. im so proud of him, im glad he is headed in the right direction. and im gonna make it a point not to let him end up like me. not that i live badly, i mean im 21 and i have nicer stuff then most people. but ive worked hard for it. and my future is iffy. justin (my brother) his future is big. and im not gonna let him mess that up. he knows if he dose anything stupid... like drugs, smoking, hanging in the bad crowd, messing up in school. ill kick his ass. he may be bigger then me but it dont matter if he is mike tyson, if he fucks up... hes goin down (so to speek). buy the way my girlfreinds name is danielle, but everyone calls her danie. danie is such a cute name. anyway im done for the day, now you know a little about me, where i am now. so keep reading, i have a feeling things are gonna get pretty intresting.

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