finnaly i update

2001-09-07, 11:10 a.m.

its been a while since ive updated, i just have not felt like writing. sorry. but here i am now, writing. i do have alot to say. first i must say im afraid to write what i feel in fear that my grilfreind will read it and hold what i write aginst me. we made a deal we would not read eachothers diary. i have not tryed to read hers since then, but she read mine...wtf. man it really dose hurt. she was so pissed that i read hers then she goes and reads mine. i just dont get it. after i read her diary she blocked me out with a content advisor, like im a little kid, i trust her enough not to read mine and... she dose. OUCH! she was so upset that i assumed she might be cheeting she turned it all around on me... we got in a fight and she somehow made it all my fault. that sucks. but what else is new? its alwise my fault. she gets mad so easy.

anyway im not jelous of patrick, im jealous of her enjoying his company more then mine. thats why im jealous. she dont seem to enjoy the time we spend together, she is alwise in a bad mood. danie has a very short fuse with me. like her sad life is all my fault. (if she reads this entry we are done) something i think might help... a while ago (you should probably read damikstrevor my old diary you will understand better) she was going to leave me, move out on her own. we were broken up for a while. and i was much more hurt then she was. i blamed it on myself, i couldent bare the pain. so in a desprate attemt to make myself feel better i aked out some gril i met in my store. she was hot, and for some reason she seemed attracked to me. we exchanged numbers and talked for a week or two. then we kinda lost contact. danie and i ended up getting back together, so i dident mind she stoped calling me. anyway she called yesterday (buy the way her name is michelle) we talked breifly i told her i had a girlfriend she did not seem to mind. maybe we can be friends? is it possible for me to have a lady friend, and not try to get in her pants? i think so. other then danies short fuse with me and our pathetic sex life, im real happy with our realationship. danie is a special girl and i know she loves me more then any girl will ever love me, and that makes me feel good, secure. and that all that matters, right? we can make it through theese petty squabbles. im sure of it.

prev � next