help me... im stuck in this fucked up world

2001-10-18, 12:20 a.m.

the worst thing about having an online diary is i have to wait for danie to finnish what she is doing online. she spends like every spare minute she has on the internet, i couldent imagine wasting that much of my day.

i think i have discovered why my life seems like such a waste to me. I WAS BORN IN THE WRONG PERIOD OF TIME. thats it im supposed to be a knight, not an inventory control manager. im supposed to fight for what i belive in, not punch numbers into a computer. if you are reading this and you have a time maching i can use for a one way ticket to the year 1300 or so, you would be my new favroite person.

it seems a little strange i know but i just have this feeling... like im im the wrong world or somrthing i dont know. i fell so lost, im not good at this life. i was ment to deal with trama, you know major stuff like avenging my father and killing the bad guys. not working a stupid 8 hour a day job just so i can pay the bills and lead a so called "normal life". im not happy, i have no friends, a shitty realationship, $30,000 worth of debt, and i could go on and on. but i wont.

i love movies, i love them because i want to be the hero in the movies. i want to be william wallace, i want to be maximus, i want to be robin hood. thats where i belong im a leader. people would love me because they respest me. they respect me because im brave, im the best man with a sword they have ever seen. there is a reason that i dont give a fuck about reading, spelling, gramor, whats 2+2. its all bull shit to me, ive never cared. there is no need in this world for a guy like me. ?, the millatary you say?... sure ive thought about it. but i dont like guns, anyone can pull a trigger. whats the point? just because you shot someone dont mean you are a better man. in real combat they probably would have kicked your ass. besides you need a diploma to join the millatary.

the older i get the more i hate my place in this world. i dont fit the mold, i will never go to collage, i cant even spell collage nor do i care to. my gramor sucks, my spelling sucks, i hate reading, i cant understand math, and do you know what? I DONT GIVE A FUCK. its not me i will never study to get a better grade, so i can get a better job. thats not me.

and look at me... im stuck in this world, living this life, somebody please... put me out of my missory.

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