H.E.L.P!2001-10-15, 5:12 p.m.i missed yesterdays entry, it sucked anyway. me and danie had a fight, and i went to the gym. i have not been there in a while i used to go all the time but ive been slacking. looooooooooooooooooser, slllllllllllllacker. thats me. but i am going to try and go everyday (like thats going to happen).today has not turned out to be any better, lots of stress and stuff like that. i need something, im not sure what, but something i need. i think i know why so many people turn to alchol, but im better then that. i think. im listening to KORN right now... its been a while but theese guys are psyco... i like it. im confused, i need help between fighting wth danie, trying to change my life, and being bummed out things kinda suck right now. i need to do something but i just dont know where to begin. yesterday i told danie we should just give up, there is no point, we cant get along, we dont understand each other. she said i dont really care about her or i would not want to give up. its been 4 years... over 4 years, i dont know what to do, im soooooo damn lost. im not happy with our realationship right now. she hates sex, she hates it when i try and kiss her neak, when i touch her, she wont kiss me for more the a second. im changing, i want to be with her and her alone, finnaly im getting to where i dont want every cute girl i see. i would be happy with one girl, but i want to be intamate with her. i want good sex, i want someone who dosent tell me "i hate sex, i will never like sex and theres nothing you can do about it" thats not all i want but its important to me and thats where we are having the most trouble. im starting to think its not all my fault, i have my shitty qualaties but im not the only one. but sometimes i feel like its all my fault, and its all up to me to change. what do i do? i need to talk to someone... |