If your a girl maybe you can help me.

2004-04-15, 8:46 a.m.

I was home most of the day yesterday because I left work early. I was feeling so sick I could barley stand up. I would have updated but I was busy sleeping. I think I slept for like fifteen hours, And I feel much better today. I think yesterday was the worst of it, and today is going to be the tail end. Hopefully because I don�t go back to work until Monday and I would really like to have some fun this weekend. It would be nice to have a date, but that�s not happening. I have kinda had my eye on one of the girls that works at the great clips under the store. She is so cute, always has a smile. I like that. We were talking yesterday but it was not much of a conversation because we were both sick. She was jealous because I got to go home and she had to say till six. Poor thing. I wanted to ask her out but I really wasn�t feeling up to it. Maybe I�ll see her again soon.

I asked Heather fi she wanted to go to the Kenny Chesney concert with me... she seemed pretty excited. So I guess I need to go get the tickets. Please say she don�t cancel on me. I�m not buying her ticket though, since we are not dating, I�ll pick up her ticket and she will pay me back. It�s been a while since I have seen her, I thought about calling her but decided not too. I really don�t like the fact that I�m the only one who ever calls the other one.

I wish I didn�t like her so much, who do I like her so much? She is nice but in some ways she is actually mean to me, we don�t have anything in common. She is a kinda a skater chick, she likes guys with tattoos and bad attitudes. I�m the complete opposite. Why would she be attracted to a little skinny white guy, who likes Buffy, kittens, Disney, and Lizzy Maguire. We disagree on music (except Kenny Chesney) movies, VAMPIRES, and so much more.

All I know is when I hear her tell me about other guys she likes it hurts me. And when I hear her tell me she is sad... it hurts me and I want to be the one to make her feel better. Honestly I have never, ever felt like this about someone I was not already in love with. I have to be strong and keep my distance because if I get too close, I�ll either scare her away, get myself hurt worse, or both.

This might sound coincided but what girl would not want a guy like me? I�m good looking, I make decent money, I work hard, I like to have fun, I may not act like the toughest guy in the world but when it comes down to it I know I can hold my own better then Mr. tough ass gang banger wannabe. Or Mr. Tough guy skater boy. If you�re a girl maybe you can help me with this one... I could be wrong but I have noticed generally women go for the guy who plays the hard ass routine. Why is that? I don�t get it. When I was taking martial arts I saw guys like that get there asses kicked all day long. I know from experience it�s the quiet ones you have to worry about. So what�s with this? Why do these guys get the girls while I get looked over and rejected like I have this big �don�t date this looser� tattoo on my forehead. Oh wait maybe if I had a tattoo!

This is all pretty much about Heather and the guys she likes. They are nothing like me, and usually the girls I like are nothing like her but she is the exception. Something about her makes me want to be with her more then I have ever wanted to be with anyone before. I know the guy she really likes... or loves I should say. I like him too in fact in August we are going to be roommates. But he treats her like shit and she keeps going back for more. He refers to her as his �booty call� in other words when he goes to the bar and don�t bring home a chick... he calls her and she comes running. Then he don�t call her for a few weeks or until he needs another booty call. And she knows this. She wants him to love her and treat her with respect. But I guess she thinks this is the way to get it. I know him pretty well and he is not that kind of guy. He don�t have girlfriends, he has bitches. If he slaps them around and treats them like crap and they still come back for more. He�ll keep them around for a while. But only at a distance. FYI he don�t really smack them around I was just trying to make it sound worse then it really is. As I said I like this guy, he is cool but in a different way. I guess he is cool in the traditional cool way. Unlike me. I might be cool but cool in a way that I�m the only one who knows it. I do like this guy just not in a way that I would... introduce him to my sister kind if way. But by golly he gets the chicks.

prev � next