I wish I had joined the military when I was 18.2004-04-16, 11:48 a.m.I cant believe how lonely I am. The last three days I have barely even left my apartment, my phone has rang twice... in three days. Once Martina call to see if I was feeling better. That was nice. Then Danie called, she was just returning my call. That is my contact with the outside world. My windows always have black blankets over them so no light can get through, the lights are always off, and I just sit here. Playing Diablo LoD, or checking my email five times a day... maybe more. Getting email is so exciting but I hardly get anything but junk anyways. So yet again another let down.A few weeks ago I filled out a profile on one of them dating services and I sent emails out to the ones I was interested in. I have not hear back from a single one of them. That�s none out of like eight or nine. I know that�s petty but it�s one of the few things I have to get excited about anymore. Yes I know I�m pathetic. It�s a good thing I have work because if I did not... I would be completely worthless and would be forced to kill myself. But it least I know when I don�t go to work people get pissed because there are no Honeycombs. And that... is a classic American tragedy. But since have had a couple of days off work I have not even had a reason to get dressed. There is no point. Except maybe to take out the trash. But who says your not allowed to take out trash in a Sponge Bob T, and matching pj bottoms right? As a matter of fact that was my attire when I hit up the local grocery store to get more... Honeycombs. Actually I�m in a pretty good mood today. I�m not depressed, just aware of the nothingness I have going on in my life right now. And it really puts you in check when you get a couple of days off work in a row. So more bad news... Martina might be pregnant. Yeah I know... the short story is... we were together for a year and she was on birth control. Last Sunday we hung out and then one thing led to another... ok so... I do my business and then she precedes to tell me she stopped taking birth control when we broke up. Why the hell did she do that if she was planning to keep coming over here and screwing me. Not to mention why did she wait till I was done to tell me that. So anyway she was going to get the morning after pill... and guess what... she forgot! FUCK!!! that�s the last thing I need right now. She has to wait two weeks to take the test. So until then I will be pulling out what little hair I do have. This cant happen we don�t get along at all, except just long enough to screw and be gone. But I have this responsibility thing. I�m 24 years old... I don�t need a crappy unhappy marriage, or even worse... CHILD SUPPORT! I have so many bad things going on right now it�s overwhelming. I wish I had joined the military when I was 18. |