Suicidal thoughts.2004-04-20, 9:00 p.m.I am so depressed right now. The Discover card bill collector lady called me and I started crying to her on the phone. She was very nice and told me it was not worth killing myself over. I tried to tell her she was not the only one I owed money too but she would not listen. So I cried more.How has it come to this? I work so hard and so much. Why am I so far behind on bills? Oh wait I know... because I let people walk all over me. I let them stick me with $400 a month car payments for a car I never even drive. I don�t drive it because I never have it. If one of them is not driving it instead of me... the other one is. But that�s ok because I have my own car and my own car payments. You know for the price I am paying for both cars I could be driving a Ferrari. No shit, I checked into it. And I can�t sell them because I got shitty ass rotten deals on them so the negative equity is actually like $10,000 more then what they are actually worth. So basically I got ripped off by the dealership first, then fucked over by my X second. And now I get to pay for it. So because of that I am months behind on all my bills, my account is overdrawn and I have no money to deposit. And the best part is... both of them owe me money and I don�t have the heart to even ask for it. You think that something would be going right for me, it cant all be bad can it? Well it turns out it can. I can�t have the girl I want, and I may have gotten the girl I don�t want pregnant. How wonderful would that be. I should stop before I make myself even more depressed. |