so thats how its gonna be.2003-07-18, 3:30 p.m.ok so yes i do need to update more. but im always doing something. i wash i could say it was something productive, something that might benifit my future... but i cant. mostly i just work and sleep and watch movies with martina.martina who is no longer going to be around. that should free up some of my time right? yup thats right we broke it off today. i spend 7 years with 1 girl and in a matter of 4-5 months i mannage to go through several. my life sucks, i suck. we have not been getting along latley, mostly because she loves me and wants me to dedacate my life to her. not understanding im still trying to deal with loosing the love of my life... DANIE! i am still so messed up over this danie thing... my life has been so weird since we broke up. everything i do feels so diferant... i cant even begin to explain. i know this might sound pathetic... and it is. but if she were willing to take me back right now... i would in a heartbeat. i miss her so much, i dont think i can ever feel that strongly about anyone, ever again. i ruined things with her and in the same sence i ruined my life. nothing feels right anymore, im just kinda sailing along. they gave the asst. position to someone else at the store... like i figured they would. at least i like the guy who got the job. i used to work with him a long yime ago. he is a good dude. hes transfering from the west vally store. he starts sunday. this is weird... i feel so emotionless right now. i dont care that me and martina just broke up, i dont care that that they gave someone else that promotion, i dont care that my life sucks and im going absoultly no fucking where. i dont care that im out of shape, i dont care at all to try and make my life better in any way what so ever. my friend robert invited me to a metallica concert and even though i love metallica and i want to go... i turned down his offer. why... i guess i would rather just sit here and rott. |