"RESET BUTTON"2004-07-13, 11:15 p.m.I know it has been a while since I updated last so there is so much too say. I don�t even know where to begin.Well I guess I�ll start off with my love life. And it is well... non existent. In other words I don�t have one. Though Martina and I are still and always will be broken up. We still hang out a lot and we even continue to do some �non broken up� things. But nonetheless we still consider each other X�s. And it is I�m sure more then obvious we care for each other, I really don�t think we have ever loved each other. And the longer I know her the more relevant it is that we just don�t get along well enough, and we will never understand, or trust one and other. So for now it is what it is. Though I did finally figure out why I seem to need a girlfriend all the time, why I don�t feel right if someone is not always there for me. And I believe this is why I dragged things out so long in my only two relationships. I am a needy person, I need someone all the time and when I have a serious girlfriend... I do. I have someone all the time whenever I need them. The rest of the time I am just �whatevering� my way through life. Its what I do. And that makes sense too in so many different ways when I think about it. See I get let down a lot by my friends. We make plans then they cancel, or they are just plain old not there when I need them. It�s always been that way, for as long as I can remember I think. Over the years I have gotten used to it and I don�t even get upset anymore. I do get hurt a little, but not upset. And the next day I�m all better. So for me having a girlfriend makes that a lot easier for me to deal with because I can always count on her. Whoever she might be. Witch means whoever is easiest and is willing to put up with me until they cant anymore. My work life is well... the same as always just hanging in there earning a paycheck. Still trying to get promoted but since they now have me training collage graduates to be my boss in the near future, I really don�t see myself getting promoted anytime soon. You know since I am teaching people who know nothing about how to operate a store, how to operate the grocery department so they can have the job I have been trying to get for years. Lets just say things are looking pretty grim. But I�m smiling anyway see =) And for the rest of my life well things are good. I�ll be moving home soon so I can save money and pay down my car as soon as possible. I have been looking into different ways to invest my money witch is good right. And I think by the end of this year I will be on top of my finances once and for all. I know that sounds aggressive but I know I can. And I would not say that if I could not. About a month or so ago I hit the reset button and now I have a clean slate. Things were pretty tough but now I have another chance. No more washing money away in places I cant even fathom. From here on out things will be different. I lost both of my cars and that included the payments that go with them. I bought a new car one that I love and can afford so things are good There. Over all life is good. There is so much more to say but I have company so I must attend bye. And April I am soooooooooooooooooooo sorry I keep missing you. I really miss you and I do want to talk to you but I have been so busy you have no idea. I go days where im not even home long enough to sleep but I will write you I promise you are such a good friend to me and I really do miss talking to you. If you like you can give me a call. You can call me whenever you like. If not ill make it a point to check for you whenever im home. Later *hug* |