Dear Martina2004-09-28, 2:07 p.m.Martina,I know that I can'y be mad at you for for not loving me anymore. That would not be fair of me, and I'm not. I'm not mad I'm hurt. You can not possibly understand what this is like for me. For the first time in my life I was ready to really give my heart to someone, and she was not ready to give ne hers. And it hurts, I know i can't ask you to love me, shit don't work that way I know. I am not writing this letter to give you a guilt trip, please just listen. What I am trying to say is I think we shoud not talk for a while. But I want you to understand why. I know you care and your worried about me and I appreciate it. But I need some time to get over shit. We can still be friends but first the pain has to ease up a little. See part of me believes the real reason you broke up with me was guilt. Guilt because you know you can't give me what I need... A real, honest, and faithful relationship. And I understand you are young and not ready yet. I want you to know that I am glad that you decited to tell me. I know it took alot to do what you did. We both know it's better this way. And besides it's not all bad for me... I learned two very important things about myself. 1) It is possible for me to have a relationship where I can treat my partner with the love and respect she deserves. And 2) That I am capable of loving someone with eveey fiber of my being. I know I still have my problems but look at how far I have come since I decited I wanted to. And I'm learning more with every passing minute. I'll colse this out with a real and sincire thank you for the time we have spent together. The good and the bad. The good times were amazing and I cry when I think we are never going to expirence them again, and I learned so much from that bad that it has helped me become a better man. For the last year and a half you have been my best and most loyal friend and I want you to know that all the things you did for me... the big and the little. I noticed even if I was not good at showing it I always noticed. Thank you! |